Bottles In A Bathtub And Oxen In A Barn
"A fool always loses his temper, but a wise man holds it back." - Proverbs 29:11
A REALLY WEIRD HABIT
I once knew a young lady with a most unusual habit. She collected bottles. Any bottles. You’ll never believe what she did with them.
Linda had just become a Christian when I met her. Her background was rough—to the extreme. One of the results of her past was that she struggled with anger.
She knew it was wrong, but she didn’t have a clue how to control her anger. So she bought a cast iron bathtub and collected bottles.
I could have used the bathtub to soak in and let my boys shoot the bottles with their B.B. guns, but not Linda. Her tub helped her with her anger. How? Get this.
She moved the tub to the basement of her house. When she got really upset she’d march downstairs, position herself in front of the bathtub, grab some bottles and begin heaving them wildly into it. And could she throw hard!
When she had finally burnt off her anger—a couple dozen bottles later—she’d head back upstairs and continue on with life as if nothing had happened. Can you imagine going over to Linda’s place for dinner? Whew! What if you said something that upset her? She’d thunder downstairs, then you’d hear “Boom, crash, screech, wham!” for five minutes or so. Finally, you’d see her emerge, sweating and smiling, and calmly sit back down to dinner. I think I’d lose my appetite. There’s got to be a better way
ANGER PROBLEMS?
Do you have a problem with anger? The Bible has a lot to say about the subject.
“A fool always loses his temper” (Proverbs 29:11). “A man of great anger shall bear the penalty.” (Proverbs 19:19).
“Do not associate with a man of great anger” (Proverbs 22:24). “A quick-tempered man acts foolishly.” (Proverbs 14:17)
The other day I got mad about something. Then I did something dumb. Right afterward I remembered “A quick-tempered man acts foolishly.” I felt horrible and doubly-dumb. Ever been there?
We all know that uncontrolled anger is wrong and maybe we’ve tried to overcome our anger, but have found it difficult. The following stories are helpful.
LOVE MARKS
When we were building our house, one of my sons made a big mistake. He marked an important board wrong and it was cut too short and we couldn’t fix it. Later, whenever we walked up the sidewalk to our house, it was impossible to miss seeing the big blunder. Whenever I saw this mistake it bothered me.
Then one day I heard someone suggest that irritating mistakes by family members could be considered “love-marks”. A bit corny, I know, but an interesting thought. He said that whenever you deal with others, things won’t necessarily be done perfectly. Rather than being so concerned that things look and work exactly right, let imperfections be a reminder of the joy and the blessing of your relationships.
That suggestion has immensely helped. It has been 25 years since we built the house and that short board still serves as a happy reminder of the sweet times we had together building our house.
Got love marks on anything.? The one who put them there won’t always be with you. Be immensely grateful for them now. It’ll help with the love marks. 😀
YOUR OXEN
An interesting insight dealing with frustrating situations like this is found in Proverbs 14:4, “Where there are no oxen the manger is clean, but much increase comes from the strength of the ox.”
Oxen aren’t exactly potty trained so they make a big mess. But boy are they strong. Many a farmer through the ages has been helped greatly by their strength.
You might have friends, siblings, or others who are like oxen to you. There’s ox 1, ox 2, ox 3 and so on. They might break your things, make messes, tell you to do things, upset your schedule or make a disaster of your “manger.”
But if you invest time in them and encourage them as you ought to, they can end up being quite a blessing. Much “increase” can come from your “oxen”. Just don’t call them that…it probably won’t help your cause much.
DENY YOUR RIGHT TO BE ANGRY
A second principle that helps to unlock the foothold of anger is to realize what Jesus meant when he said, “Deny yourself” (Mark 8:34). It doesn’t mean to deny your existence. (That’s not too smart.) Rather it means, among other things, to deny your “upset-ness.”
This is the opposite of reacting when you’re mistreated, having sour attitudes like, “I’ll never forgive them,” “I’ll never talk to them,” “I’ll never let them use MY stuff again,” or “I deserve to be treated better than that.” This stops God’s power.
God wants us to yield our desire to be treated right to Him. If we are mistreated, He wants us to make every effort to let go of bitterness and to trust Him to work out our situations for far better.
IT’S NOT FAIR! BUT…
Oh, you might say “It’s hard to do that. It’s not fair!” This is true on both counts. Because of that, turning away from anger can be very difficult.
Two passages that give grace to help are Matthew 16:24, 25 and Galatians 6:8. These say that if we don’t feed our flesh with anger, bitterness and revenge, but instead we deny ourselves, then we will “find our lives”—we will enter into what the Bible calls “Life”—God’s righteousness, joy and peace. (see Romans 14:17)
Many people stubbornly hold onto anger. That’s a big, big mistake. It’s MUCH better to enter into God’s goodness and have His joy and help than it is to hold onto angry or to keep feeling sorry for yourself.
JOSEPH
Joseph is one of God’s great examples in the overcoming anger department.
People deliberately hurt him. But he brought all the consequences to God and served his God where he landed after the devastation. In time, he saw God’s power work in unprecedented ways to bring him great blessings. And God also made him a blessing to others for thousands of years to come. God meant it for very good and when God’s time to act came, no power in heaven or on earth could stop Him.
What results from seeking God’s help over bitterness, self-pity and anger!
Follow God’s way and, just as He did with Joseph, God will bring you into surprising, amazing places that you never, ever expected.
"We went through fire and water...Yet You brought us into a place of abundance." - Psalms 66:12
“The blessing of the Lord makes rich, and He adds no sorrow to it.” Proverbs 10:22
The “fires” people face are often caused by others’ selfishness and meanness. Joy is one of the ways God makes us rich.
Don Miller
God Himself brings us into His abundant places.